bug 🐸🐵🐛🦗 @trashguts@freak.garden

hi! i'm not Big on #introduction s but i am very new to instances that are any degree of social lol
i am a queer monkey boy who's very deep in self-isolation-induced mind jumbles, and not really as comfortable sharing details about my person online as i used to be u_u
i like things that make me happy, like colors and bugs and clowns! :o) attached is a drawing of my sona, bug!

doing so much research and planning and work on my snake's new enclosure and every time i talk to somebody about it or research something else i get ten more things i have to do and buy for it
very stressed and overwhelmed and i can't even just take a break and focus on something else for a bit b/c it never leaves my head sdlkfj.. not to mention the expense 😟

wrowie does mastodon not like tiny animated pixel art LOL oops

they were talking in the temtem discord about a location in the game that is like a depressing, bureaucratic, forever rainy island..
i was like "ah, ferenginar" and everyone responded "uh, gesundheit?" 🥲

had to log into my very old fake never-used facebook account today (apparently the most active herp groups are all there and i need feedback on my setup) and was immediately greeted by friend suggestions of people from high school despite having no identifying information on it whatsoever 😭 f*kin hate facebook evil ass creepy tracking company

a lot of custom emojis that i see people use on discord or twitch fall into pitfalls of the emotion/intention not being super readable at small sizes bc the art is too detailed or the emotion isn't exaggerated enough & i thiiink i would be able to do this pretty well... i have IDEAS anyway lol

IDEA... instead of offering comms for shaded fullbodies (though i will do that if somebody wants) i set up comms specifically for like.. CUSTOM EMOJI SETS.... it sounds so FUN i gotta draw up some examples n see if i can make this workable

(cynical reasoning: if somebody can afford discord nitro they can probably also afford & effectively utalize a custom emoji set of their fursona or whatever LOL though i'd also offer themed/non-OC ones for themed servers yknow?)

i really enjoyed botw as a photography game primarily i think

also not being awake for "normal" meal times to remind me abt needing meals means i just forget to eat until it's well past due lol oops

person in large discord server: *says something vague and potentially iffy abt transness/nonbinary identities or potentially they are just inadvertently wording things awkwardly*

me, who enjoys being in this server and maintaining a friendly atmosphere in it: *cautiously optimistic response making my support of transness and nonbinary identities extremely clear in a friendly, encouraging way*

person: "oof"

w. what does oof even mean in this context

on the other hand i've had similar moral panics every time i've tried to open commissions and i won't get them open at all before either i come up short on rent or the pandemic is over & i can just go back to normal work at this point lol

& a lot of artists do a like sliding scale pricing where the more you pay the more effort they'll put into the piece which is fairer to the artist but like the high end of the scale is *so* expensive and the LAST thing i want is to price people out of my art! that's like anti-all of my values lol
like if somebody wants to send me more i super appreciate it but requiring people to send me a large chunk of money to get my best feels bad to me 😭

opening commissions would be so much easier if i was like a) more capable of having a consistent style and b) more confident in my art 😭 i had a friend be like "i have a friend who opened pwyw background comms to practice bgs!" and tbh her work was already really good so it worked well for her but can't imagine asking somebody to pay me to practice something LOL

its homophobic that my dash has been full of fanart of the chibi female protagonist and i havent seen nary a screenshot of the male one

i guess i could be the change i want to see in the world but unfortunately i cant draw 😔

also all my friends in my timezone are asleep when i'm awake which is very lonely u_u

the only downside to having an almost fully reversed sleep schedule is that the hours where businesses being open and us being awake overlap is close enough to our bedtime that we're too tired to safely drive to any of them lol

i think the thing that im most grateful for is having parents that are supportive and kind and i have been able to have the relationship w them to that all children should be able to have with their parents

idk if it's only-child-ness but my mom and stepdad have been my closest confidants and kindest allies my entire life and i wish this was the norm and i'm so glad i have them

and whenever quarantine loneliness is too much they're willing to play games with me over discord lol ❤️