Pinned toot

hi! i'm not Big on s but i am very new to instances that are any degree of social lol
i am a queer monkey boy who's very deep in self-isolation-induced mind jumbles, and not really as comfortable sharing details about my person online as i used to be u_u
i like things that make me happy, like colors and bugs and clowns! :o) attached is a drawing of my sona, bug!

mh - 

doing so much research and planning and work on my snake's new enclosure and every time i talk to somebody about it or research something else i get ten more things i have to do and buy for it
very stressed and overwhelmed and i can't even just take a break and focus on something else for a bit b/c it never leaves my head sdlkfj.. not to mention the expense 😟

wrowie does mastodon not like tiny animated pixel art LOL oops

they were talking in the temtem discord about a location in the game that is like a depressing, bureaucratic, forever rainy island..
i was like "ah, ferenginar" and everyone responded "uh, gesundheit?" πŸ₯²


had to log into my very old fake never-used facebook account today (apparently the most active herp groups are all there and i need feedback on my setup) and was immediately greeted by friend suggestions of people from high school despite having no identifying information on it whatsoever 😭 f*kin hate facebook evil ass creepy tracking company

trans/tumblr (-) 

i think i'm gonna just make a new tumblr blog and only follow like reptiblr/vetblr blogs because those are the only ones that actually productively give me information that betters my (snake's) life lmao

though turning a blind eye to parts of the community that are just like, being trained to actively hate my brothers... won't just make it go away either... i don't know it's just exhausting and i wish people would be kinder to each other on the internet :(

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trans/tumblr (-) 

and then i log into tumblr and a big name blogger that a lot of people take as an authority on trans issues (because she is both trans and like 30) was saying exactly one of the things that make me the most upset and there was no disagreement in the notes or even mention of "hey this is kind of shitty of you" whatsoever, just agreement with a post that was just basically like, "yeah transmascs really are the worst!"

the TIMING! i just started crying lol like what else can i do?

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trans/tumblr (-) 

i just spent like 2 hours talking with my partner about like "transphobia towards transmascs that exists invisibly both in society at large and within general trans spaces online" because it's something that is a really complicated and nuanced issue for me that i just don't have the mastery of language to communicate concisely and accurately

it was really cathartic to get it off my chest and feel heard and understood and i was genuinely feeling better! dysphoric asf but better!

a lot of custom emojis that i see people use on discord or twitch fall into pitfalls of the emotion/intention not being super readable at small sizes bc the art is too detailed or the emotion isn't exaggerated enough & i thiiink i would be able to do this pretty well... i have IDEAS anyway lol

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IDEA... instead of offering comms for shaded fullbodies (though i will do that if somebody wants) i set up comms specifically for like.. CUSTOM EMOJI SETS.... it sounds so FUN i gotta draw up some examples n see if i can make this workable :blobhyperthink:

(cynical reasoning: if somebody can afford discord nitro they can probably also afford & effectively utalize a custom emoji set of their fursona or whatever LOL though i'd also offer themed/non-OC ones for themed servers yknow?)

i really enjoyed botw as a photography game primarily i think

#neopets tip: Flash still works on the Wii's internet channel and on the PS3 browser

These consoles don't have a lot of memory, though (especially the Wii), so keep in mind they may crash!

also not being awake for "normal" meal times to remind me abt needing meals means i just forget to eat until it's well past due lol oops

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confusing social interaction 

person in large discord server: *says something vague and potentially iffy abt transness/nonbinary identities or potentially they are just inadvertently wording things awkwardly*

me, who enjoys being in this server and maintaining a friendly atmosphere in it: *cautiously optimistic response making my support of transness and nonbinary identities extremely clear in a friendly, encouraging way*

person: "oof"

w. what does oof even mean in this context

commission anxiety ramblings 

on the other hand i've had similar moral panics every time i've tried to open commissions and i won't get them open at all before either i come up short on rent or the pandemic is over & i can just go back to normal work at this point lol

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commission anxiety ramblings 

& a lot of artists do a like sliding scale pricing where the more you pay the more effort they'll put into the piece which is fairer to the artist but like the high end of the scale is *so* expensive and the LAST thing i want is to price people out of my art! that's like anti-all of my values lol
like if somebody wants to send me more i super appreciate it but requiring people to send me a large chunk of money to get my best feels bad to me 😭

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commission anxiety ramblings 

opening commissions would be so much easier if i was like a) more capable of having a consistent style and b) more confident in my art 😭 i had a friend be like "i have a friend who opened pwyw background comms to practice bgs!" and tbh her work was already really good so it worked well for her but can't imagine asking somebody to pay me to practice something LOL

poketumblr, joking 

its homophobic that my dash has been full of fanart of the chibi female protagonist and i havent seen nary a screenshot of the male one

i guess i could be the change i want to see in the world but unfortunately i cant draw πŸ˜”

also all my friends in my timezone are asleep when i'm awake which is very lonely u_u

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the only downside to having an almost fully reversed sleep schedule is that the hours where businesses being open and us being awake overlap is close enough to our bedtime that we're too tired to safely drive to any of them lol

family sap 

i think the thing that im most grateful for is having parents that are supportive and kind and i have been able to have the relationship w them to that all children should be able to have with their parents

idk if it's only-child-ness but my mom and stepdad have been my closest confidants and kindest allies my entire life and i wish this was the norm and i'm so glad i have them

and whenever quarantine loneliness is too much they're willing to play games with me over discord lol ❀️

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bug πŸΈπŸ΅πŸ›πŸ¦—'s choices:

The instance for extra-concentrated freaks whose interests are too odd or too many for specialty communities. Nazis, techbros, sexpests, and capitalists need not apply.